What an intimidating decision that we have to make in our lives, when we are supposed to just know when to settle down like they do in the movies. But seriously-how the heck are we supposed to know 'he is the Right One?'
I've pondered this question, as did many of my friends, for many, many years.
I have to admit that there were (too) many times when I doubted that he was it. At the time I didn't know why, but now looking back, I think I have some insight that i'd like to share because I think it will help some of you out there facing the same issues.
However, do take my experience with a grain of salt because I've pretty much dated only one guy since moving away from home and being independent...
I think the main reason I doubted was because I was so unsure and curious of the 'what ifs' of this world. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I've always wondered what could happen and who I would meet at the next corner I turned. All of this happened during a period of major transition, from a kid to a college kid to a young adult to a working woman, I found it very hard to keep up with myself and my ever-changing needs and wants. In freshman year I wanted drama, sophomore year I wanted to make lots of love, junior year I wanted spontenaiety, senior year I wanted mystery... Really, doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why I had doubts.
Through all of that mess in my life, he was always there. Though he underwent drastic changes as well, for some reason he just never left my side.
It wasn't until I stepped out of adolescence and into the 'real world' after graduation that I started to piece my life together.
I remember when I first started working 2 years ago, for the first time in my life I think I underwent depression. The stress of my job along with some other personal issues made me a very unhappy person that I lost my willingness to make friends, talk to people and find a reason to wake up every morning. It was probably the most vulnerable I have ever been and I just remember you saying to me, "I don't want to see you like this, I will work hard so one day you don't have to."
It was after this experience and period of my life that really shifted my values and his weight in my life. I spent 2 long years working on one very important thing: getting to know myself. I made it my new years resolution to be more selfish, and to really listen to my heart and know what I truly want versus what I think others want of me. This was truly an enlightening experience - highly recommended ;)
I changed a lot the past 2 years and I am so happy and proud of each and every change. I'm now living my own life the way nancy wants to live it in every single aspect. It wasnt until I did that that I could learn to accept and love someone else.
It definitely took awhile for me to fully adapt to the new life, but I now look forward to the Friday nights spent at home cuddling on the couch watching an action movie. I enjoy sleeping early and waking up afresh. I realized I prefer not wearing heels since I cant walk in them anyway. I now drink only leisurely with my friends and I don't mind the fact that his body cannot tolerate alcohol. I don't mind eating chipotle instead of Per Se. All of which I used to care so much about, seems to matter so little now.
Because of how strong our bond is, I don't even give a crap about conventional romance. I trust him with all my heart and that's all that matters to me.
I think that's how I knew that he was the Right One. And now we are getting married.
Lastly, I have to thank the Wrong Ones I've gone through because if it were not for them, I would've never known how precious he was. As much as I am angry and upset at the things that happened between the Wrong Ones and I, I am thankful because it expedited my trip to the Right One.
I reflect back on some of the Wrong Ones I've crossed paths with and I've realized... The Right One makes you warm and fuzzy from bliss and kindness, while the Wrong One makes you warm and fuzzy from alcohol.
-nn. happily enlightened.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The Right Choice
It was as if you knew this day was going to come. This day that I realize for real how grateful I am for making the hard choices I've had to make in the past.
I. AM. SO. THANKFUL. I. MADE. THE. RIGHT. CHOICE.
Once and for all, this is it!
Ahhhh, feels good.
-nn. happily relieved.
I. AM. SO. THANKFUL. I. MADE. THE. RIGHT. CHOICE.
Once and for all, this is it!
Ahhhh, feels good.
-nn. happily relieved.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Clocks
So recently one word has been recurring in my newly engaged life: clock.
This word has been referenced several times in several situations:
The first clock is others' clocks. My friend F said that the moment I informed her of my engagement, her clock started ticking. Unintentionally, I had set off a ticking clock in some minds that the next chapter of our communal lives has officially begun.
The second clock is my own clock. Questions like, "when are you getting married," "when are you having kids" start popping out in all directions and it's forcing me to start thinking about the next decade(s) of my life like a ticking clock. I've subconsciously placed 'deadlines' for myself. All of a sudden, I'm no longer thinking about my life like it's tomorrow or even next month, but rather next year, next 5 years and even forever.
I want to use this opportunity to remind myself and anyone out there to forget about clocks. It was really nice when we were young and we did everything together, but the beauty of growing up is that everyone lives their own lives at their own paces. That's the fun part of life so that we can all share different experiences and mentor each other in different ways! I may have moved onto the next stage in my life but there was just as much gratification before. For those who are still single, enjoy all the freedom and crazy fun you can possibly obtain now before you move on! Remember, you'll be married for the rest of your life so you might as well have as much fun as you can now! That part of my life was short-lived and although I do not regret it at all, I wouldn't mind elongating that phase a bit more.
For me, I got lucky and found Mr. Right early on and am no longer interested in looking around. I guess he feels that way about me as well so we have decided to become monogamous and settle down.
I had often dreamt of the magic of not knowing who is out there or who we may meet at the next corner of the block, but all that doesn't mean anything to me anymore.
I think I've found a true treasure and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He has been there for me even when I've pushed him away and has proven all the doubts I could ever form in my head wrong. Not to be corny, but I sincerely feel that because he is in my life, my life clock does not have an end to it. Everything I've wanted in my life, that I was not able to have due to the separation of my parents, will come true. Not just the usual stuff like having happy kids, a warm house and a loyal dog, but things like waking up every morning a happy girl. Because you love me for who I am, you enable me to be the best I can ever be.
Finally, the third clock is our clock together. It makes me smile that our clocks will soon converge and I absolutely cannot wait to start my life with you.
-nn. happily counting.
This word has been referenced several times in several situations:
The first clock is others' clocks. My friend F said that the moment I informed her of my engagement, her clock started ticking. Unintentionally, I had set off a ticking clock in some minds that the next chapter of our communal lives has officially begun.
The second clock is my own clock. Questions like, "when are you getting married," "when are you having kids" start popping out in all directions and it's forcing me to start thinking about the next decade(s) of my life like a ticking clock. I've subconsciously placed 'deadlines' for myself. All of a sudden, I'm no longer thinking about my life like it's tomorrow or even next month, but rather next year, next 5 years and even forever.
I want to use this opportunity to remind myself and anyone out there to forget about clocks. It was really nice when we were young and we did everything together, but the beauty of growing up is that everyone lives their own lives at their own paces. That's the fun part of life so that we can all share different experiences and mentor each other in different ways! I may have moved onto the next stage in my life but there was just as much gratification before. For those who are still single, enjoy all the freedom and crazy fun you can possibly obtain now before you move on! Remember, you'll be married for the rest of your life so you might as well have as much fun as you can now! That part of my life was short-lived and although I do not regret it at all, I wouldn't mind elongating that phase a bit more.
For me, I got lucky and found Mr. Right early on and am no longer interested in looking around. I guess he feels that way about me as well so we have decided to become monogamous and settle down.
I had often dreamt of the magic of not knowing who is out there or who we may meet at the next corner of the block, but all that doesn't mean anything to me anymore.
I think I've found a true treasure and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He has been there for me even when I've pushed him away and has proven all the doubts I could ever form in my head wrong. Not to be corny, but I sincerely feel that because he is in my life, my life clock does not have an end to it. Everything I've wanted in my life, that I was not able to have due to the separation of my parents, will come true. Not just the usual stuff like having happy kids, a warm house and a loyal dog, but things like waking up every morning a happy girl. Because you love me for who I am, you enable me to be the best I can ever be.
Finally, the third clock is our clock together. It makes me smile that our clocks will soon converge and I absolutely cannot wait to start my life with you.
-nn. happily counting.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Other Engagement Stories
So my coworker, Jaclyn, was right. After you get engaged, your eyes are LITERALLY peeled to other women's rings...and it's amazing how much of a conversation starter a diamond ring can be. Wow.
So I just got back from a CoreNet event and noticed a bunch of beautiful ladies with shiny rocks on their fingers. Being the newly engaged newbie like myself, I of course go up to each of them and ask them how it happened and to share their stories!
I heard a few pretty funny engagement DON'T DO's. Of course, those are the best ones.
1. The woman decided to go on a treasure hunt around the house and found the ring before he even proposed.
2. The man slipped the ring on the woman's finger while she was sleeping, so when she woke up, she was already engaged. Of course, according to him, he knelt down and popped the question as she woke up, but seriously, how can she say no now that it's already on her finger?!?!
3. The woman and the man were on the beach when the man couldn't hold it in anymore. He took it out of his pocket and showed her the ring... on his blackberry. Nuff said.
Allllright, alright. I also did hear the cutest story... So this super baller man was dating a designer woman... instead of giving her a ring, he gave her a huge diamond, and asked her to design and pick out her own setting and band.
Now that is creative and thoughtful, gentlemen.
:)
OYa
-nn. happily engaged.
So I just got back from a CoreNet event and noticed a bunch of beautiful ladies with shiny rocks on their fingers. Being the newly engaged newbie like myself, I of course go up to each of them and ask them how it happened and to share their stories!
I heard a few pretty funny engagement DON'T DO's. Of course, those are the best ones.
1. The woman decided to go on a treasure hunt around the house and found the ring before he even proposed.
2. The man slipped the ring on the woman's finger while she was sleeping, so when she woke up, she was already engaged. Of course, according to him, he knelt down and popped the question as she woke up, but seriously, how can she say no now that it's already on her finger?!?!
3. The woman and the man were on the beach when the man couldn't hold it in anymore. He took it out of his pocket and showed her the ring... on his blackberry. Nuff said.
Allllright, alright. I also did hear the cutest story... So this super baller man was dating a designer woman... instead of giving her a ring, he gave her a huge diamond, and asked her to design and pick out her own setting and band.
Now that is creative and thoughtful, gentlemen.
:)
OYa
-nn. happily engaged.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
How he popped the big question!
Hello! Today is the first day since our engagement and I wanted to use this blog to capture all of our little memories during this special and exciting period of our lives!
5.1.12
Official day that Jimmy fang proposed to Nancy Ni. :)
How he did it seems now to be the highest hit FAQ in my life right now, so my dear friend Patterz made a brilliant suggestion...why not post it online so everyone can read it for themselves? You are so smart.
How he did it:
Disclaimer: I was expecting the ring to come out some time this week, as J had told me he already bought it (and so did his mom, haha). He said he made a reservation on Saturday so I assumed it would happen then...
So Tuesday, May 1st. The one year anniversary of Bin laden's death...J texts me during lunch that he is planning to stay late at work today and that I should just eat myself. So 6 rolls around and I decided to stay late to finish all my work. Start packing to go home at 7:15 and J calls and asks why I'm still in the office. Pretty usual, I just told him I had work...so I take the bus home and when I reach my apartment, before I could put my fob into my door, the door swings open and there he is, in a suit, beaming as he opens the door.
"Hi, babe."
I look at him in shock and ask why he wasn't at work and he simply says, "I got my shit done. Come in...."
Come in? So then it hit me, it was happening.
I walk in and on the bed lies a long-stemmed rose. He guides me to the bed where I sit down at the edge. He got on one knee and held my hand and said (or as much as I could remember):
"Babe? We've been together for 5 years now and I've been so happy with you...somethingsomething...I want to take care of you for the rest of my life...somethingsomething...will you marry me?" (gasp!! The 4 big words hit me like dough!!)
I said "Okay!" (lame response, I know) and before I knew it, he put the ring on my finger. I teared up a little during his little confession and I never tear up at these things! But I did, because I knew and trusted that he meant every single word he said and more. That's how great he is and that's why I love him so much.
I was in disbelief because I had envisioned this moment for months now but now it actually happened it was so different and so surreal to me.
We kinda just chilled around at home after that and we were staring at the rock (he did a good job, I love it!) for a few mins. Then he took me to Brushstroke where we were going to celebrate our engagement.
It was not until we reached Brushstroke and I called my family that it actually settled in my head that I was now engaged. "Engagement" has always seemed so foreign to me, like how the word "college" felt when I was in elementary school, so to be now engaged definitely felt tingly. I don't remember anything I ate that night and only remember telling and calling my best friends before posting it on fb for public consumption. When we got our friends blessings, it was the most amazing feeling ever. We have the most amazing friends and I am so thankful for having you guys in my life!
So that was it. I have been in complete ecstasy since then and it's still looming over my head and hasn't truly settled. The ring still feels too heavy on my finger but apparently i will get used to it. Sarah today gave me an orchid and came into the office just to congratulate me. It was the sweetest thing...
Had dinner with Patterz and Laopo Julia and again felt so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I cannot wait at all until the wedding so I could gather all my favorite people in this world under one roof!!
We have penciled in August 18, 2013 as our wedding date so that leaves us with 468 days of engagement.
Happy Day One. :)
nn - happily engaged.
5.1.12
Official day that Jimmy fang proposed to Nancy Ni. :)
How he did it seems now to be the highest hit FAQ in my life right now, so my dear friend Patterz made a brilliant suggestion...why not post it online so everyone can read it for themselves? You are so smart.
How he did it:
Disclaimer: I was expecting the ring to come out some time this week, as J had told me he already bought it (and so did his mom, haha). He said he made a reservation on Saturday so I assumed it would happen then...
So Tuesday, May 1st. The one year anniversary of Bin laden's death...J texts me during lunch that he is planning to stay late at work today and that I should just eat myself. So 6 rolls around and I decided to stay late to finish all my work. Start packing to go home at 7:15 and J calls and asks why I'm still in the office. Pretty usual, I just told him I had work...so I take the bus home and when I reach my apartment, before I could put my fob into my door, the door swings open and there he is, in a suit, beaming as he opens the door.
"Hi, babe."
I look at him in shock and ask why he wasn't at work and he simply says, "I got my shit done. Come in...."
Come in? So then it hit me, it was happening.
I walk in and on the bed lies a long-stemmed rose. He guides me to the bed where I sit down at the edge. He got on one knee and held my hand and said (or as much as I could remember):
"Babe? We've been together for 5 years now and I've been so happy with you...somethingsomething...I want to take care of you for the rest of my life...somethingsomething...will you marry me?" (gasp!! The 4 big words hit me like dough!!)
I said "Okay!" (lame response, I know) and before I knew it, he put the ring on my finger. I teared up a little during his little confession and I never tear up at these things! But I did, because I knew and trusted that he meant every single word he said and more. That's how great he is and that's why I love him so much.
I was in disbelief because I had envisioned this moment for months now but now it actually happened it was so different and so surreal to me.
We kinda just chilled around at home after that and we were staring at the rock (he did a good job, I love it!) for a few mins. Then he took me to Brushstroke where we were going to celebrate our engagement.
It was not until we reached Brushstroke and I called my family that it actually settled in my head that I was now engaged. "Engagement" has always seemed so foreign to me, like how the word "college" felt when I was in elementary school, so to be now engaged definitely felt tingly. I don't remember anything I ate that night and only remember telling and calling my best friends before posting it on fb for public consumption. When we got our friends blessings, it was the most amazing feeling ever. We have the most amazing friends and I am so thankful for having you guys in my life!
So that was it. I have been in complete ecstasy since then and it's still looming over my head and hasn't truly settled. The ring still feels too heavy on my finger but apparently i will get used to it. Sarah today gave me an orchid and came into the office just to congratulate me. It was the sweetest thing...
Had dinner with Patterz and Laopo Julia and again felt so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I cannot wait at all until the wedding so I could gather all my favorite people in this world under one roof!!
We have penciled in August 18, 2013 as our wedding date so that leaves us with 468 days of engagement.
Happy Day One. :)
nn - happily engaged.
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